I struggle with countless thoughts. I’m prone to wonder, to overthink, and to sometimes suffer from cascading curiosity; too interested in the next thought to find closure on the current one. In a way, thoughts, like feelings or character traits, are trees in the forest of identity. School’s relentless pursuit of thought had me enraptured daily, but I was unfaithful to what it asked of me beyond the school walls. Never doing my homework left my trees of discipline and organization unwatered. As I age, I’m learning that writing about my thoughts provides an avenue for deeper reflection, an ability to challenge my inner monologue, and (often enough) pursuit of closure.

I’m writing my thoughts down because one of the thoughts I struggle most with is honesty. As a child I was raised Catholic - while I’m not practicing these days, my habits are quite marked by the teachings. I know the cycle of sin and guilt well, but my grasp of forgiveness and repentence remains to-be-desired. I’ve found it easier to internalize failures and transgressions than to learn from them. Beyond the lens of the Holy See (or that of any religion), I’ve come to understand honesty as a superpower - the more you lean into it, the more it leans into you. I am no holdout on virtuosity - I dig with shovels to spare my nails.

I’ve found solace in the thoughts of countless others. I know sharing mine will pay forward some of that comfort of universality in my human condition.

At the very least, I’m finally doing my high school Engilsh homework.